The incident happened
last year when one of my friend’s (friend A-male) birthdays was around the
corner. Another two friends of mine (friend B-female & C-male) were also
preparing a gift for “A”, so they called and asked me for my opinion. We came
to an agreement that we will share the cost and give “A” birthday present
together. However, I was caught up with a few projects then, so “B” volunteered
to look around for a gift to buy when three of us are out together the
following week. That night “B” called and told me that she bought a MP3 at a
cost of around $200. I was astonished because “B” (She is lavished with her
money and always asked for more allowance from her parents) did not inform us
what she has chosen at the point of purchase and neither did she consult us for
our budget. Furthermore, “B” said that “C” is unable to come on “A’s” birthdays
so only two of us were going to share the cost. I was very angry for her action
because she did not care about if I have enough budgets to pay for the gift. I
had a quarrel with her for her self-centeredbut she defended herself by
saying I am stingy. Eventually, on “A’s” birthday, I had no choice but used half
of my allowance to share the cost of the present and certainly our friendships
are affected.
I reflected after the
incident happened. I knew her intention was good because she heard from “A”
that he lost his MP3 recently, so she decided to give him a MP3. The incident
would not happen if she has told us earlier, so I would find a more affordable MP3
or other gift as birthday present. To me, I perceived present as a little token
of gratitude towards my friends so it should be affordable. Maybe she perceived
presents differently, that leads to our quarrel.
What do you think either
of us(“B” and me) could have done so the conflict would not arise?
Hi Chen Ruo
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post, I could understand where you are coming from. Perhaps in this situation, you could first empathize with her. The reason she did not admit to her part of the mistake may be because of pride. Maybe you could try admitting your part of the mistake first like not making your situation clear to her or not being able to pick the gift with her. Even though the weight of your mistakes my not be that much, but in this way, she might soften her stance.
Hi Vivian,
DeleteActually we could have gone out together the following week to choose present together but she couldn't make it. So, she chose to go out earlier without me. I chatted with "C" after "B" called me, I realized the main reason that "C" would not want to come out is also because he don't have enough budget to pay for the present. I think it really defeats the purpose of buying present.
I can see where you are coming from Cen Ruo- the two of you should have discussed budget before anyone made any move to buy, I guess. Your post is interesting but do watch out for errors like, "scare resources" which should be "scarce resources" , also tenses, "so neither was I an exception."- do you plan to use Past tense here?
ReplyDeleteOther than that - the issue is interesting to read.